Growing Stronger

Its been two months since it all happened, 

Since the storm consumed the sky,

since the day I looked to the face of good,

with tremoring hands and a scratchy throat,

screaming only one word,

"why?"

I feel the day I experienced loss,

was the day I stopped believing,

in something that millions of people devoted their lives too,

in something that thousands of women gave their time too,

in something that hundreds of families give their thanks too,

in something that I only wished to say goodbye too,

That thing was God.

My heartbroken but naive mind could only wonder,

why would someone who created

this world with such beauty,

rip apart people's lives,

and watch their tear-stained cheeks

and shaking hands with such cruelty.

it was months and months of trying to fix myself,

trying to not cry in public

to push the soul-wrenching nightmares away,

trying to control the hurt with little success,

but weeping about it anyway.

it drove me insane till I questioned,

" will I ever get better? "

my eyes widened as I realized,

I would have to do the last option,

on my list altogether.

so I bowed down to the carving of stone,

that I hadn't touched in months,

and prayed.

prayed with every fiber of my being,

prayed not for my mother, not for my father,

but every word that came out of my mouth was for me.

it's then when you truly lose something,

that you realize how much has changed,

that moment where I lay on the floor 

with my hands clasped together,

I realized I wasn't crying for the woman I lost,

but for the grief that came to soon,

but for the innocence that that bid me adieu.

I thought I wasn't going to be all right again,

I wasn't going to be able to pick my broken self,

and push the pieces back together.

But I have come to know that,

strength is something you get acquainted with through pain, 

and that truth for me is more golden than any treasure.

~ Ananya Singhal