A letter to my future

Dear Future Me,

Were you ever able to look at yourself in a mirror
and not see what you should be and
just smile?

Do you still write down each sentence
and wait for it to grow into poetry?
Or do you sit hidden behind the curtains
and scribble down everything you were
too afraid to say in your notebook?

I hope you don't nod your head no and smile
just to distract someone from yourself,
I know I shouldn't do it,
but I'm too tired to face the truth in me now,
so I'm going to leave it to you to learn to do that.

Do you smile looking at the photographs I cry looking at now?
Do you still think the way I do?
are you even me anymore?
There are so many questions I want to ask you,
but I know you cant write back now,
I'll have to get the answers myself somehow.

I know for a fact that you still love your family as I do,
and hopefully maybe even more.

are you proud of yourself?
did you do everything I wanted to?

I know it seems like I'm weighing down your shoulders
but as consolation,
I promise to work hard now to make you
wherever you are
smile
it's the least I can do for my own kind.

yours truly
in the most sincere way